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You want something unique for him, her, or whomever—and we’re serving pistachio-flavored undies, a crossbow, and ‘lucid dreaming tea. Alright, Valentine’s Day is one week away, you procrastinating jabroni. Try as we might to pretend that we’re judging, the truth is that we’ve all been in Crunch Time before, desperately trying to identify a gift that will say just the right sweet nothings to our awaiting beloved, and none of the wrong ones. It’s February 7, meaning it’s time to pull it together and order something, like, today.
But if you’re blanking and in need of direction, here are 29 unapologetically unique gift ideas for him, her, or whomever this Valentine’s Day. A “cocaine white” hair metal guitar? When we say unique, we mean it. But we stan a partner who understands why that would probably be bad for your intimate flora. Grab the triple-scoop Neapolitan pint if you’re feeling fancy. For the paranoia-prone lover of kicking back with a toke, Dad Grass’s legal, high-CBD, zero-bad-vibes joints are now available in a cute Valentine’s Day pack.
Yep, that’s five CBD joints, not a handful of chalky, stale candy hearts. Wine subscriptions have long been a thing, but for the boo who likes the small, natural winemakers doing bodacious, biodynamic things, MYSA’s wine club is key. We know that of course some peeps don’t drink at all, but that doesn’t mean they don’t like trying new non-alcoholic bevs. Grab Acid League’s Proxies subscription and let them try a grip of alcohol-free wines that offer the same highbrow sipping experience as traditional oenophilic endeavors. It’s time to test their commitment to their love of vinegar-soaked vegetables with this comprehensive pickle gift box, The Big Dill, positively loaded with briney wonders.
For the cat owner for whom no accessory is too much, this cardboard izakaya where your cat can both scratch cardboard and bartend tiny bottles of Asahi is honestly genius. There’s a reason it’s internet-famous: It’s pretty much magical. As the old adage goes, you will certainly not regret eating 30 to 40 olives. Especially if they’re Castelvetranos, the absolute best snacking variety. This is a gift that isn’t for everyone, but is perfect for the right one. Are they always the “I can’t remember my dream” type when you’re trying to do cute subconscious-spelunking pillow talk in the morning? Get them this herb-infused tea that’s supposed to ramp things up a little in the ol’ REM realm.